Life Without a Septic System

Okay, let's get this blog going again!

Here's a quick update on the status of things in our household: Lando's been getting over having 2 ear infections and a sinus infection; Dawn's been getting over having bronchitis; our Chrysler Concorde (aka "Conrad") has been getting over having a dead battery and a squeaky wheel; and our house has been getting over having a dead septic system.

Actually, all of those things have been fixed except the last one -- our house still has a dead septic system. It started on October 15, when we discovered that our very new ultra-low-flush toilet (just a few months old) would no longer flush. I went out into the backyard, removed the lid off of the septic tank, and found myself staring at brown sludge just inches below ground-level.

We called a septic guy to come pump out the tank and give us the bad news -- we need a new septic system. Well, crap! (Look! I made a septic-related joke! Add your own in the comments!)

Because we live in the city limits, it was possible that we would be required to tie into the city sewer system. That would require a minimum of $10,000 just to bring the sewer to our property line, plus another $2,000-$3,000 to actually connect our house to the sewer. Worse yet, because the asphalt companies shut down during the cold months, it could well be spring before they would have our sewer connection, since bringing the sewer line to our property would require cutting through the street.

Luckily, we got permission to go with the "cheaper" option -- getting an aerated septic system. Our old septic system was installed way too deep (the water table is only 16 inches below ground), which is why the recent heavy rains (over 11 inches in October alone!) were causing us problems. Because we don't have a suitable place to discharge the water from the new aerated system, we'll still need to have a leach field, although smaller than the old one.

Believe me, when you can't do the laundry, can't wash dishes, can't flush the toilets, and can't take a shower, your entire world suddenly revolves around getting your septic system fixed!

• Laundry: We've done a few loads of laundry at the laundromat, as well as a few at Val's house. (Thanks, Val!) Other than that, we just have piles of clothes lying around in heaps.
• Dishes: Actually, doing laundry is easy compared to doing the dishes. There is no dish-equivalent of a laundromat! (And who wants to cart all of their dirty dishes to a friend's house to wash them?) We have dirty dishes covering every square inch of our kitchen.
• Cooking: Try cooking without using water. See? The whole locavore thing has pretty much gone right out the window. We're eating out a lot!
• Toilet: "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." I first heard that phrase about 30 years ago, during a drought in southern Illinois. Our problem now isn't a lack of water; it's too much water! The phrase still applies, however. We also take advantages of opportunities to use the restroom when we're in stores and restaurants. (Of course, this sort of complicates Lando's toilet training, but so far it hasn't been much of a problem.)
• Showers: We shower every other day, turning on the water just long enough to get wet, turning it off while we shampoo and soap up, then turning it back on again to quickly rinse. I miss having long, relaxing showers every morning!

After all of the investigating of different options, soil test, getting permits, etc, they were hoping to start last week. They just needed to finish another job first. Which requires that it stop raining, for crying out loud!

Hopefully we'll get our new septic system either this week or next week. After they're done, I'll spend about 45 minutes in the shower, every day. Heck, I might even take a bath!

(Tomorrow's forecast? Rain and snow.)